It is way too common for me to be counseling an individual from a couple and to hear them put up with inappropriate behaviors from their partner saying that they don't want to come across as "demanding", "nagging", or "pushy". Usually, but not always, this is coming from a woman. It seems that society has taught us that women need to be "cool" with whatever her man is doing and if she isn't she is controlling. So, to become attractive to the opposite sex, she pretends to be incredibly casual and comfortable with his behavior. The problem evolves, however, into her feeling devalued and without a voice to express herself.
So, here are some basic rights in a relationship. My intention for posting these is that both parts of the couple can be empowered to ask for these or hold off until they find someone who demonstrates these qualities. It is OK, ladies, to state your expectations (directly and pleasantly) and let your partner know that you need to see these behaviors in order to feel that you are valued, respected, and loved. That is, after all, the most ideal way you experience a relationship.
There are an abundance of examples of each of these basic rights. I would encourage that you assess your relationship and speak openly and honestly about how the two of you may improve. Don't forget, your partner has the same rights. So whatever you are willing to ask for, be sure you are demonstrating the same respect and love. Be bold. Be loving.
List of relational rights taken from the following sources:
Evans, Patricia. The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and how to Respond. Bob Adams, Inc. Publishers. Holbrook, MA, 1992.
Tracy, Celestia G. Mending the Soul. Mending the Soul Ministries, Inc. Phoenix, AZ. 2012
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